Here I have shown a scan of some of the feedback that our teachers have given me about the draft video that me, Damon and Nick have made. The peer assessment that we have been given is a list of all of the things that the peers have put down to help us improve and make our video better. Here is the list of points made for our draft video:
Click on the image to enlarge it:
1. The first thing that I decided to do with Nick and Damon was to remove all of the narrative elements that were in our music video as neither the class peers or our teachers understood what was happening in the storyline as it did not show the story in much detail. It was important that we followed and took note of what feedback we had as this would help us in making a better, more understandable music video, also the audience feedback suggested that our music video did not fit in with the conventions of a rock music video because there was more narrative than performance. I decided that the best solution would be to completely remove it as the band performance would suffer if we extended to narrative, or left it as it was, also we were then fixing some of the conventions of a rock music video that we had previously broken in the draft music video.
2. In the feedback we were told to completely re-film our video as our draft did not work, we took this advice because some of the points were that the continuity of the lighting was all wrong, the location was obvious that it was a pub garden and there was not much effort put into it like Rhys on the drums looked like he did not want to be there. After making the changes to our music video by using the audience feedback I decided that it would be a good idea if we started from the beginning, using the feedback we just had a performance throughout the whole music video and I think that this worked as the video felt more like a rock video.
3. When I was reviewing our first draft I realised that the location of the band was all wrong as they were in a pub garden and this was clearly shown as there was wooden benches and a park in the background, therefore it did not feel like the band was a rock band as the location was all wrong. This was also mentioned in our audience feedback as it was so obvious, after receiving this feedback we had the choice of angling our shots so that the location remained hidden, or we could re-film and use a different location and i decided with Nick and Damon that it would be best to use an inside location, so we used my shed... Also the teachers noted this down too as they had a similar feel to it.
4. After we had received the feedback from our teachers we had read about the location being all wrong and this noted us about having to rethink all about our location again, so I decided to have a group discussion with Nick and Damon and from this I suggested my shed, Nick suggested his garage and Damon suggested his garage, to find out where we would be filming I looked into the practicality of where would be best and found out that it would be easier to do it in my shed because i had all of the instruments that were needed, so it would be easier to not transport all of the instruments everywhere and Nick and Damon agreed. After looking at the audience feedback we thought that it was very important that we listened to what they thought was wrong and what they thought was right as we did not want our video to look like another genre such as dance, in the video and this would of broken every single convention of a rock music video apart from the clothing.
5. In the peer and teachers feedback that we had we were told that we need to put all of our effort into playing the instruments as there was a feel of we did not want to be there in the first draft, this audience feedback was important as the audience did not feel that the band were an actual band as there was no passion in the video, and this was very important as we were not fulfilling the convention of playing the instruments with passion, so when we re-filmed I told the band to show more of a passion for playing the song and i showed more passion as the main singer. An example of what the audience feedback was referring to would be our drummer Rhys, as he was not doing anything to suggest that he enjoyed playing the song, this was shown by him looking miserable and sitting still, because of the genre of music that we were perusing we needed him to look like he was enjoying the experience.
6. This was aimed at me (the singer) in our music video as I was not singing the song out in filming and this makes the video seam and feel more real as all of my facial expressions and body movements would look more realistic. This was picked up by the teachers feedback that we received so, to solve this I learnt all of the lyrics in the song, when they appear and I practiced singing along with the song to enhance my performance in the video, this was important because the audience picked up that I was slightly out of tune with all of the lyrics being said and this broke conventions for the genre of music that we were making and also it made the audience feel that I was fake and we did not want them to feel that it was fake
7. In the teacher’s feedback we were told to stay where we were as we did not need to show the band walking in and this saved us time on the storyboard, we followed this information as it was a good point that was made by our audience, because our opening scene was too long the audience were becoming board and this breaks the rock music video convention as most rock songs start straight off with the music. Doing this alteration helped us get the message out that the band really likes to play the songs and that they just want to rock it out.
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